Silence isn’t always golden; sometimes it’s yellow.
If your silence is too often motivated by cowardice, then look at Matthew 18:15-17. Jesus gave us instructions on how to confront someone who has let us down.
First: Talk in private. Jesus said, “Go privately and point out the fault.” This is where a lot of us fail right away. We talk about the person, but we don’t talk to the person. We involve a lot of other people in the problem long before we get into it with the person we feel has sinned against us.
Second: Involve others. If we have to take it to the next level, Jesus expects us to know how to count. Now’s not the time to rally a bunch of people to your cause. How many people did he say to involve in verse 16? “Take one or two others with you and go back again.”
Third: Tell the church. If private conversation doesn’t solve it and if mediators can’t help, in verse 17 Jesus said, “Take your case to the church.” This is a much more formal level: It’s now a case that has to be solved, not just an issue to be settled. Through multiple meetings across several months you’ve tried to get this solved one-on-one, and then with mediators. The person who’s hurt you still refuses to deal with it. So, you and your mediators bring it to the church.
Fourth: Cut off the person. If a private conversation doesn’t resolve things, if a small group of mediators couldn’t get anywhere, if a formal church intervention didn’t move the heart of the offender, what other choice do you have?
Sadly, we often go first to the step that Christ said should be last. Let’s get this right.
As we continue our Sunday morning series called “Getting Along,” we'll look closely at Christ's instructions this week. Join us at 10am on campus or online!
Tom
If you want to review the first three installments in the “Getting Along” series, go to our “Sermons” page, or our YouTube channel or our podcast.
Tom Goodman serves as pastor at Hillcrest Church in Austin, Texas. His sermons are available on YouTube and the HillcrestToGo Podcast and you can find him on Facebook and Twitter. If someone forwarded this email newsletter to you, sign up here to receive Tom’s weekly devotional in your email inbox.