At the banquet celebrating a couple’s 50th wedding anniversary, the husband was asked to tell the crowd what he had learned from his many years of married life. “Well,” he began. “Marriage teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness—and a great many other qualities you wouldn't need if you stayed single.”
In our marriage, at work, at church, and in all our relationships, we need to learn how to get along. Paul said that we should always be “forbearing one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other” (Colossians 3:13). Paul calls for two actions there, but while forgiveness is the difficult one, forbearance is the daily one.
How can we forbear others? Pay attention to four things about them.
Their Personality. Some are introverts, others are extroverts. In making decisions, some are rational, and others are spontaneous. We shouldn’t expect everyone to think like us, react like us, or communicate like us.
Their Perspective. As the old saying goes, “Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes.” The old proverb advises us to see things as others see them. In that way, we become more understanding of others.
Their Progress. If we’ll keep in mind that people are at different stages than we are physically, emotionally, and spiritually, it will help us bear irritations in relationships.
Their Problems. Someone else’s behavior may spring from the stuff they’re dealing with: their wife’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis, their adult child’s poor choices, their shame, their fears, their regrets. The more sensitive we are to what others are going through, the more we can bear with the things that annoy us.
As we consider another person’s personality, perspective, progress, and problems, the better we’ll be at dealing with them the way God wants us to.
Let’s dig deeper into these things on Sunday! It’s the fifth week in our sermon series called “Getting Along: Eight Biblical Solutions to Conflict.” If you want to review the first four installments in the series, go to our “Sermons” page, or our YouTube channel or our podcast. I hope to see you Sunday at 10am!
Tom
Tom Goodman serves as pastor at Hillcrest Church in Austin, Texas. His sermons are available on YouTube and the HillcrestToGo Podcast and you can find him on Facebook and Twitter. If someone forwarded this email newsletter to you, sign up here to receive Tom’s weekly devotional in your email inbox.