In Your Disagreements, Think Win-Win

Collisions can be beautiful.

That’s how Mount Everest came into existence. The Indian and Eurasian continents press into each other at the rate of about four inches a year, and all that earth and rock have to go somewhere, so it goes upward. As India keeps moving inward, compressing and lifting southern Eurasia, a spectacular natural treasure continues to be created.

Think of that: no collision, no Everest. The world would be a poorer place.

The collisions between people have the potential of creating the same majesty and wonder. The compression of two lives against each other is almost always uncomfortable, distressing, and frustrating. But out of that compression a solution can be reached that is as towering and beautiful as Mount Everest.

Do you look for ways to turn the collision of interests into something beautiful? Philippians 2:4 (CSV) says, “Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others.” This effort to address the interests of all sides can result in a thing of stunning beauty.

About 30 years ago, Roger Fisher and William Ury wrote a book called Getting to Yes. It’s been translated into 25 different languages and millions of people have read it. The book offers “a proven, step-by-step strategy for coming to mutually acceptable agreements in every sort of conflict.” Their four principles are:

  • Separate the people from the problem.

  • Focus on the interests, not the positions.

  • Brainstorm creative options for solving the problem.

  • Agree on the standards you will use to solve the problem.

The amazing thing is that the principles from this Harvard Business School classic were already laid out two thousand years ago in God’s Word. The Bible really is the world’s most practical book.

This Sunday, let’s see what God’s word has to say about negotiating with others. It’s the second part of our morning series called “Getting Along: Eight Biblical Solutions to Conflict.” In this week’s study, we’ll learn how to think “win-win.”

Tom

(The connection between conflict and Everest was made in Gary Thomas’ remarkable book, Sacred Marriage.)

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Tom Goodman serves as pastor at Hillcrest Church in Austin, Texas. His sermons are available on YouTube and the HillcrestToGo Podcast and you can find him on Facebook and Twitter. If someone forwarded this email newsletter to you, sign up here to receive Tom’s weekly devotional in your email inbox.